


It's been a long time coming.

by widowsguns



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Study, F/M, character analysis kinda, is there such thing as two loves in one's life?, she deserves the world, tsunade just questions herself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25069840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/widowsguns/pseuds/widowsguns
Summary: "The sensation itself felt too perfectly overwhelming to remain focused solely on grieving Dan but eventually she had to uncover what was left inside her heart, which part of her was still willing to give love a chance."In which Tsunade wakes up from a passionate night with Jiraiya to uncover old feelings towards Dan and understand what is it her heart should feel after all this time.
Relationships: Jiraiya/Tsunade (Naruto), Katou Dan/Tsunade
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	It's been a long time coming.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old piece I wrote around two years ago to understand how Tsunade would feel for loving another man while still being hurt by Dan's death.

Her pupils leisurely adjusted to the brightness coming through the open window of her room. Tsunade's eyelids fell shut again, her body slowly gaining conscience of the warmness surrounding her frame: Jiraiya embraced her body, fully asleep, heat emanating from wherever their bodies met on the position they were entangled. 

Naked skin on naked skin. 

A smile spread across her features as the memories from their previous night flooded her mind. His careful yet rough touch eliciting moans from her mouth and fire on her pristine skin. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so... Pleasantly loved and sexually taken care of. Not even a single hint of guilty nor regret dared to cross her thoughts although one question lingered on her mind: Dan.

The blonde couldn't shake the feeling inside her guts that screamed and blamed her for not feeling even slightly ashamed for betraying her love towards her former boyfriend with her long time best friend and current lover. 

She'd lived long enough and suffered too many heartbreaks to finally understand that feelings weren't as easy to deal with as people tried to show.

Her eyes opened and her senses became completely aware of what, how and where she was lying. Jiraiya's scent inebriated her nostrils; his warmness made goosebumps run along her spine without her consent; her eyes now gazed at the beautiful morning sky; her ears could sense and hear his low and unpreoccupied snores; her lips still ached, swollen and sore from the not-so-gentle kisses they'd shared. They had an amazing sex all night because she loved him and wanted to be connected in every way possible to his mind and soul.

The sensation itself felt too perfectly overwhelming to remain focused solely on grieving Dan but eventually she had to uncover what was left inside her heart, which part of her was still willing to give love a chance.

The blonde couldn't endure a relationship with the toad sage without truly understanding how she felt towards him and towards Dan. Tears streamed down her face as the image of her last boyfriend stung on her. She couldn't deny how much her heart still loved him after all this time.

What led her to another matter: if she still loved Dan so much, how come she wasn't feeling even a bit ashamed or guilty for giving her heart and soul to another man? The thought caught her, the words in it — her heart and soul. There wasn't a single doubt in her core as to how she'd developed more than friendly feelings towards Jiraiya.

The man now embracing her had picked some of her shattered pieces and had given them to her, he'd even contributed to assemble her puzzle together except that... She wasn't a young adult anymore. Despite her look, the Senju was now on the verge of her 60s. The parts of her that once felt irreplaceable and intrinsically glued to her own being now simply didn't make sense anymore.

Years had changed her, she knew that much.

This new fitting she'd turned into after overcoming her fears was different from the woman who once gave Dan her love and affection. 

— Tsunade...

The male sannin spoke sleepily, and she froze for a moment. Needless to say that her preoccupation was in vain. He still slept soundly and was probably dreaming. The tears were now dry on her face as another smile broke through her lips and the butterflies ran free on her stomach at the realization of how much he loved her. 

Trying to deny how much she loved him too would be foolish. 

His space was always there inside her heart. It felt strange, as if she'd needed several punches to finally catch up on their unique connection, completely different from her and Dan's bond. Jiraiya and Dan were opposites in basically everything, having only their passion for living and growing as a common ground. She knew loved them with everything she could still gather; her last hope.

Tsunade bit her lower lip and gazed at the sky again, noticing how blue it was, so close to Dan's hair color. 

" I'd never betray you and he will never be your replacement. You are gone and I still love you with all my being. Perhaps if you were still alive we'd still be together and I'd never realize how much I love Jiraiya, but now I know that I do, and I fear that I always will. Just like you he's always been an essential part of me. "

She adjusted herself inside the white haired sannin's arms, turning to face his peaceful expression, her heart being filled with something she thought she'd never experience again romantically: love and adoration.

" Just one more time. "

She planted a soft kiss on his lips and he sleepily opened his eyes. His raspy voice came out as beautifully as the sounds of birds humming outside.

— Hime... You shouldn't be up, it's early.

She blushed as her lips crushed his, engaging in a passionate kiss with the man that, despite being confused, returned the kiss with the same fervour. Tsunade made sure he knew how much she loved him, her tongue plundering his mouth minutely.

A part of her would always love Dan: her younger counterpart.

Nevertheless, this woman now ached and craved for Jiraiya, and she'd make sure nothing would ever tear them apart.

Breaking breathlessly from their moment, the male sannin gazed at her inquiringly, his onyx oculars still confused with the sudden and breathtaking kiss.

— I love you.

Was all she muttered before leaning in and hiding her face on his warm and protective chest, feeling at peace with the world again.

A goofy grin was plastered on Jiraiya's lips.

— I love you too.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @lavendwr on twitter :)


End file.
